I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
