The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
babies were throwing up all over the place
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
