Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
