I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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