You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
