Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
