You can't motorboat a personality
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I could fuck to npr.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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