I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
