yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You were trust falling into bushes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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