Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
