You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am midnight drunk by noon
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
