Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
