never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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