I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
