Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's the barista slut.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
