My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
