Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
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I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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