people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
