Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize