omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is Oprah even human
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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