Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
