Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
