She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
