Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
