that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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