my phone needs a breathalizer
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize