Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
