You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
