I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I touched a dick in church today
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
