I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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