Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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