You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize