drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
