I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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