Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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