when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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