he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
false alarm. still invincible.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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