Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
