Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
