ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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