I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
