Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
