ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i think im in europe. pls send help
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
