dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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