I wish I could punch you in the face.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
only you would photoshop your dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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