we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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