Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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