I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
porn star boner night. come get it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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