True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
