I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
