One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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