ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
