I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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