Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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