check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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