We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
