Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
